Friday, February 6, 2009


Last few days I had watch this movie (sorry I forget the title.. but it doesn’t matter after all). These women had made her opinion about what is the meaning of depression. She says, “Depression comes from the stress feeling” or it also comes from “losing they loved one”..

So then, I realized something about myself. Deep down inside my heart says that..”Gee…I have faced this situation before..”. On that time I feel like there is no life for me and I feel everyone hates me. So as the circumstances, I decide to dislike myself (as the effect, I always get mood swings) and I start to punished myself. How? I’ve hurt myself-by injuring my both hand. I don’t feel that it is wrong after all because I thought that I am not hurting anybody. I never felt that it was hurt after all. Thus, it makes feel a little relief…I don’t know why.. I do ever thinking of killing suicide too. But, thank God for His love, I’ve been saved. I don’t know how to explain the feeling I’ve felt on that time and why but I just feel that He near to me and care for me..

Well, that’s my past stories and I realize that all the things I do on that time is not a good thing for me. I’ve change (I think so) but I know I’m not completely change.

How about you? Have you ever been in this situation before? or maybe..your friends? How do you facing it or helping your friend ?


ღ NinieJane ღ said...

:(.. feel bad to know u r commiting suicide. never think in that way again aaa bbey.

i know life gets hard sometimes ; or ; most of the times , but we'll eventually learn from that.

i know u r strong :)

take care buddy
i miss u

Rhythm of My Soul said...

i'm not commiting suicide la juz terfikir mau buat...almost.. :)