Thursday, December 4, 2008

Is it just a 'little crush'?

When i was 16, I met this guy and I thought I was in love with him. I keep my feeling without his knowing. On that time, it's hard for me to communicate and to get closer to him because there are still lack of communication tool like a handphone etc.. So the only thing i can do is to daydreaming about him.

End of year 2003, i am waiting for my SPM result. While waiting for my result, i've decided to work as a cashier near my hometown. It was my 1st job. For me, it was an interesting experience because from there i have learn many new things that i never been thought in school, meet new friends..

For telling you the truth, i 've buy my cellelular using my 1st month of my sallary and what is more interesting i bought it on February 14, 2004. I'm so damn excited and on that same day, i finally message this guy. He reply me and we become friends.

After 3 months working as a cashier, i quit. I further my study at Labuan Matriculation as accounting student. i'm still keep in touch with him but we still remain friends.

June 2005, i've completed my study. But, sad to know, i've failed to further my study as a degree holder. Then i start again from the beginning. I enter to a local university. I'm still keep in touch with him and still become good friends. I have kept and brought this feeling for many years now and of course it is now hard for me to ease his name from my heart. There are times i try to contact him but most of the time he don't response me. I feel so depressed..and it goes on and on..

Until one night, i finally decided to tell him about my feeling. At first he refuse to answer my call but then he finally answer it. And... there the stories goes. I HAVE CONFESSED my feeling and guess what?? HE REJECTED ME. He says that, he is not ready for this relationship and he want me to concerntrate with my study..haha...pity me kan..

It's hard to accept it when i 1st heard what he had just said. But..there is a relief i felt inside my heart..

Time past by..and when I'm thinking back about this, I just smile and laughing myself and of course wondering how can i be such silly girl waiting for that guy??! I HAVE LEARN MY LESSON.

So...the moral of this story..Never give your heart without knowing his/her feeling to you. Belakang hari, sendiri susah..sendiri yang sakit hati nie..haha..So what do u think? is it just a little crush??


ღ NinieJane ღ said...

:) the feeling same like u first felt with ur previous man?.. or maybe this is the first love? susah juga kan.. no one can really understand how u felt but yourself. no one knows better how deep your crush for him but yourself.

take this:
if God sees u need a mate, He will provide the right one at the right time.

and when the time has finally come, u'll be thanked for the past experiences u have :)

take care buddy.

Claudel said...

when it comes to years... you can't really say it was a "little crush" a little crush is when you see someone walking on the street and you like him, that's a "little crush" :) about your story, did you every trought about the fact that he could have said yes instead of no?:) how about the fact that if you would have shared your feelings with him EARLIER you would get a different response? to me, what he said was just a lame excuse, it's more like he already has a girlfriend/relationship that's more important then anything you two had, but hey that's just my opinion, no offence, but sometimes girls tend to keep their feelings hidden inside untill it's too late, when he actually gets turned off automatically because you don't share, so he will normally find someone else and will put you for sure in the "Let's just be Friends Box", when you do find someone that you really like don't hasitate to show him that, if at first you can't really spell every singel word of how you feel, just show him that you are there for one reason and one reason only and that's not to be just friends or buddies.

FloDawn said...

Hi M'dear Sharon...
I finally got time to check out ur blog! Been bz bee lately...

Thanks for sharing ur story here... Hmmm it sounds like more than a crush to me... tho to me, real love is something deeper... something like what we have for our parents, siblings... unconditional. Only for a mate, it would be something more wonderful for us girls ya :) Or it can be a great pain...

You're experience will help you a great deal in ur future relationship with men. So it was not in vain. Good to know that you're ok now.

Sharon said...

I'm speechless...thank you(Ninie, Claudel, n sis Dawn) for your wonderful comments..i appreciate it...